Thursday, January 23, 2014


Most of my posts seem to fall under the "challenges" category. Life is just one big challenge! 

This one has to do with a potential brick wall regarding the adoption process.


As I've mentioned before, I have mental health issues. They have been controlled, medicated, and monitored actively and continually since September of 2012. Although that may not seem like that's a long time, it really is for someone like me; for a person with bipolar disorder. Moods can fluxuate on not only a daily basis, but a minute-to-minute basis. Keeping my brain (emotions) in check for that long, with no mental breakdown, is significant. Keeping a job since 2011 is a huge accomplishment as well. Although you probably know from my rants, I do have episodes, but I consider them mild in nature as I use several "outs" to relive the stress, anxiety, or depression I feel (blogging/writing my feelings, crafting, etc.)

The roadblock we may be hitting, and which I am grateful to have thought of this before going any further, is the question "will this 'severe' disorder prevent my husband and I from adoption?" My answer: probably. Although companies always claim that they do not discriminate on the basis of gender, race, national origin, religion, age, marital status, or disability, blah, blah, blah, I do not know if these agencies fall under the same federal laws, and especially in this type of circumstance. My educated guess is a resounding "no".

I have contacted two agencies regarding this. I am hoping to get an answer as far as it relates to knowing if it's worth out time putting in an application or not. Maybe I need to talk to a specific case worker that works with adoption procedures, but I believe this is a good place to start.

I have to share one sentence that I wrote in my most recent email:

"There is a stubborn stigma surrounding the disorder, with the thought that it is untreatable and that those afflicted run rampant in the forest."


I'm so, so funny. I wish the stigma would simply melt into complete understanding, but I'm afraid that won't happen. If it does, it won't be in my lifetime. Change is too hard for this country.

We shall see.

Much love, skipping, frolicing, and dancing,

To answer your questions before you ask them: yes, we know about loans and grants, and there are roadblocks there that I may expand upon in a later post. We also are aware of the options of adoption internationally and foster parenting. We never intend to adopt internationally as it is not financially feasible in the least bit in our situation. We have played with the idea of foster parenting in the past, and I plan to sell Adam on that idea if all else fails with the adoption pursuit of happiness. 

1 comment:

  1. Tessa, I've been hanging around here for a few years now. I've seen some of your ups and downs from my sofa, through what you've chosen to share (and through your variations in blogging and pinning topics and frequency). I think you've done amazingly well. Realistically, I'd say your mental health status probably will impact on your quest to have children, whether through adoption or fostering. I wish you luck from the bottom of my heart. Remember though, that you are awesome, you and Adam have something wonderful beyond children, and no matter how it turns out, life will be amazing! :-)


Thanks, mango! You're a fabulous person and there needs to be more people like you that comment on awesome posts.