Cost.

The cost of purchasing a child is ridiculous and it gets me all fired up. Yes, I worded it that way on purpose. You might as well say it that way, because that's essentially what you're doing.

I've done a lot of research on this topic and the best option I can find around here is LSS Adoption Services. If their website is correct, it will be $13,500.00 to adopt. In order to visually keep track, and to help others to be able to see what our goals are, I made a fundraiser thermometer.

We have a long way to go. If the cost is higher than that, which some websites estimate over $40,000 for a domestic adoption (!!!) then we are screwed... but we have to start somewhere.

We are probably going to talk to an agency directly and put in an application this week. We need to find out the specifics as it relates to money. We need to see if it will be worth our time to even put in an application. I don't want to waste our money or anyone else's money if we get any donations.

I kind of feel like I should've waited to start spreading the word about the adoption, but then again I'm really not. It really got the ball rolling for me, and especially for Adam. It really kicked his butt into gear and made him officially decide that it is something he wants to do. He is still very hopeful that we will have our own child, as am I, but after looking into the astronomical costs of fertility treatments and compared side-by-side with the success rates, I convinced him that it just isn't worth it. The success rates range anywhere from 22 - 50%. That's not very much percents, you know what I mean? IVF is a helluva lot of money to just have a 50% chance of conceiving! Some that conceive even end up miscarrying! How devastating! I can't imagine! Exclamation mark!

We shall see how far this fundraiser goes. Hopefully those that have said "we support you all the way" actually mean it, eh?

Much love, diamonds, rubies and opals,
T

Bricks.

Most of my posts seem to fall under the "challenges" category. Life is just one big challenge! 

This one has to do with a potential brick wall regarding the adoption process.

Source.

As I've mentioned before, I have mental health issues. They have been controlled, medicated, and monitored actively and continually since September of 2012. Although that may not seem like that's a long time, it really is for someone like me; for a person with bipolar disorder. Moods can fluxuate on not only a daily basis, but a minute-to-minute basis. Keeping my brain (emotions) in check for that long, with no mental breakdown, is significant. Keeping a job since 2011 is a huge accomplishment as well. Although you probably know from my rants, I do have episodes, but I consider them mild in nature as I use several "outs" to relive the stress, anxiety, or depression I feel (blogging/writing my feelings, crafting, etc.)

The roadblock we may be hitting, and which I am grateful to have thought of this before going any further, is the question "will this 'severe' disorder prevent my husband and I from adoption?" My answer: probably. Although companies always claim that they do not discriminate on the basis of gender, race, national origin, religion, age, marital status, or disability, blah, blah, blah, I do not know if these agencies fall under the same federal laws, and especially in this type of circumstance. My educated guess is a resounding "no".

I have contacted two agencies regarding this. I am hoping to get an answer as far as it relates to knowing if it's worth out time putting in an application or not. Maybe I need to talk to a specific case worker that works with adoption procedures, but I believe this is a good place to start.

I have to share one sentence that I wrote in my most recent email:

"There is a stubborn stigma surrounding the disorder, with the thought that it is untreatable and that those afflicted run rampant in the forest."

Source.

I'm so, so funny. I wish the stigma would simply melt into complete understanding, but I'm afraid that won't happen. If it does, it won't be in my lifetime. Change is too hard for this country.

We shall see.

Much love, skipping, frolicing, and dancing,
T

Also:
To answer your questions before you ask them: yes, we know about loans and grants, and there are roadblocks there that I may expand upon in a later post. We also are aware of the options of adoption internationally and foster parenting. We never intend to adopt internationally as it is not financially feasible in the least bit in our situation. We have played with the idea of foster parenting in the past, and I plan to sell Adam on that idea if all else fails with the adoption pursuit of happiness. 

Budget.

With the preparation of an adoption, we have to really start savings for the cost of an adoption.

Don't get me started about why adoptions cost so much. It really, really gets me mad, and I think sometimes about not adopting just to boycott the whole system, but I can't do that. I want a baby, even if that means I have to "pay" for one. 

Before we decided to adopt, I had been entertaining the idea and started a savings account. I hardly put any money in the account, thinking that Adam wouldn't ever allow me to do anything but give it thought and would never let me act on it. 

Now things have dramatically changed in the budget world. Adam has set up a high-interest savings account with a company called Betterment, so it will be "out of sight, out of mind", and so we cannot take money out of the account for any reason at all. 

We have been on a "fun money" budget for several months now, and it's been going really good. Every two weeks, when Adam gets paid, $100 dollars would be deposited into my account, and $100 into his account. This money would be used for ANYTHING fun related. That means going out to lunch, even if it's $2 at McDonalds, going on a date night, soda and chocolate at the grocery store, getting coffee at the gas station, clothing, and for me that means crafty stuff. Anything at Hobby Lobby comes out of the fun money account. I've cut down my spending ridiculously and tremendously since the start of this budget plan!

With this new development though, we have changed (halved) the amount of money allocated to our fun money accounts. This means a lot less Subway meals for Adam, and a lot less product from Hobby Lobby and Amazon for me. One hundred dollars a month is not very much money, if you ask me! That should allow me to just restock the essentials - glue, tape, maybe a spool of ribbon because I'm obsessed and.... probably that's it! No new stamps, no new patterned paper stacks, no beautiful fabric. 

Does anyone else have any dramatic money savings tips?

Much love, cupcakes, hearts and kittens,
T

Facebook.

I made a Facebook page for the Rathsack Adoption Option.

The Rathsack Adoption Option

Read more about our adoption effort here.

Short description from the Facebook page:

Well, this is it. We've officially lost all hope to have our own baby and are opting for an adoption. The problem is that it costs about $20,000 for one... and that's a lot of money. It may be tacky, but we are doing a fundraiser because... well, that's a LOT of money. 

We want a baby, and we're willing to do whatever necessary to have one. We are still a little unsure about this whole idea, because this is kind of embarrassing, but hopefully we'll come around once enough people support us!  

Right now I'm just setting up an Etsy shop, mostly because it's easy, something I've been wanting to do for a while, and fun for me. In the summer, anxiety permitting, some real fundraiser-type things will be happening. I don't know what yet, but it's going to be great. I just know it.  

If anyone with fundraising experience wants to offer advice, I'm all ears! If someone wants to lend a helping hand, that would be SO awesome.

Please "Like" our page to keep updated on our efforts. 

Or just "Like" our page just to show that you support us.

Much love, hope, desire and fairy dust,

T

<3

Baby.

I don't have any real pictures to share today, but because I know that pictures helps break up the monotony of the walls of texts, I'm going to put some that I adore in here... and they just so happen to go along with the theme.

There are a few things that I want to discuss. They're uncomfortable for me to talk about, so I would expect it's going to be uncomfortable for you, too. The only reason I'm doing this is because I like to be open about big circumstances in my life. I don't see why there has to be an issue with discussing something going on in my life. Everyone enjoys their privacy, but I find it important for me to open up about problems that are close to my heart. Or my brain...

Tenderness.

Here's a recap of rants I've had in the past:

• I'm bipolar.
• I have tons of other health issues.
• I have no health insurance.
• We have little money because of stupid health issues.

It looks like I covered everything in just one post!

Playful.

Today I'm going to cover:

• We can't have kids (probably).
• We are too poor to adopt or to go through fertilization treatments.
• We worry about my mental issues interfering with the stresses of being a foster parent.
• We want to be parents anyway.
• I have opened an Etsy shop and will be starting to promote my (hopefully decent) work to try to earn money to purchase some sort of human being. That sounds so effed up, but it's true.
• I don't know why SO MANY of the pictures in my previous posts vanished. That actually really pisses me off, because the only reason I even KEEP a blog is to document my life and work! WHAT.THE. CRAPF(&SFJAsd;fo*%($@&%!!!!!!!

Friendship.

1.  We can't have kids (probably).

True story. Everyone else says "oh, you will. It will happen", "you're young still", "you never know what can happen". Fine, I'm young, but chances aren't looking so good. PLUS, WHO ARE YOU to tell me it'll happen? Ugh, that irks me the worst. I haven't been trying *that* long, in the whole scheme of life (6 years), but that's a lot of failed attempts and so, so many monthly heartbreaks. I'm pretty convinced that if we keep doing what we're doing (essentially everything they could do 2013 years ago, nothing more), we won't be able to have a baby. We've "stopped trying" for a year or two now, hoping that we would be one of those lucky couples that have them on accident. No dice.

I have had some medical tests in the past. Some tests have come back either normal or slightly abnormal, but there's not a lot that we can do because of the money issue.

Joy.

Which leads me to:

2.  We are too poor to adopt or to go through fertilization treatments.

I suppose we're not poor, because we're not in the poverty range, but we're definitely not rich. Most people call it "well off". We're on the lower end of that description.

My enormous medical bills require us to deplete nearly all of our monthly "fun" money to pay them. We don't have $20,000 to invest into an adoption. Don't try to tell me that it's cheaper Here or There, because I feel like I've looked into everything! Even the so-called not-for-profit organizations charge a minimum of $20,000. Doctor appointments are costly just to try to see what's wrong with one of us. Once we find out what's wrong, what's the treatment? What if we go through $10,000 in medical tests and find out that the only option is In Vitro anyway? Either way it's a moot point, because we don't have $10k to drop in the first place.

HOWEVER! There is a place in Madison that has a guarantee that their services will work! Adam is begging me to try that before we go through the process of fostering. The only problem I have is that Madison is THREE HOURS away. We'd both have to take an entire day off of work just to go to one appointment! That's an entire adventure! That's a lot of time in the car and a lot of money spent on gas!

Content.

3.  We worry about my mental issues interfering with the stresses of being a foster parent.

It's not secret that I don't handle stress well. In dire situations, I can be unusually calm, collected and cool, but when constantly pressured, I break. If a troubled child pushes me to a breaking point, obviously that's not good. But, also, who is to say that I'll break? What kind of a break? Will I cry? Will I need to go get my meds adjusted? Will I need to go see a counselor? (probably a good idea, anyway.) Those are all ok. But what if I need to be admitted? Highly unlikely. But what if!? That's always going to be in the back of my mind.

I think that the best option for us would be for us to foster. This may sound wrong or inappropriate, but it's the cheapest route, and therefore the most feasible and practical in our situation. Getting into severe debt just to have something that will cost us even more in the short and long term and forever term doesn't make any sense to me.

Precious.

4.  We want to be parents anyway.

"We" is a relative term. Adam is more of a "if everything is peachy keen, let's do it", whereas I'm the irrational, spoiled brat who always gets what she wants, and throws a fit when she doesn't get it. I believe what everyone else says, that there is never an opportune time to have children. You just have to do it, and things work out somehow.

I've been trying hard to be patient. When I pray and plead with God to give me a child, I hear him tell me to "be patient". Ugh! Fine. I guess I don't have a choice much, do I? lol.

Soul.

5.  I'm making this post because I want to explain that I'm going to be shamelessly promoting my (hopefully decent) work so as to earn money to obtain a Precious. 

I don't know why I feel like I have to announce this. Maybe so it's that I can tell myself that I should do this. Because I AM awesome and I CAN do this. Maybe my stuff IS good enough that people might want to buy it. And if I do get money from it, I want people to know that it's going to something that I'm passionate about.

However, I know that if none of this goes my way, Adam and I will just grow old together. 

And that will be ok.

Endless Love.

52.

My mother's birthday was on the 1st of November and I still haven't gotten to the post office to mail her gift. Now I've decided I might as well wait until my niece's gift arrives that I ordered for her birthday, so I can ship both gifts at the same time to save myself a trip. Because, you know, going to the post office is SUCH a bother. ....

Even though she may read this (chances are low), I didn't want to wait any longer to share the gift I made her.

I'm sure you've seen this; it's been all over Pinterest since Pinterest existed. Even though it's almost cliche now, I don't care. I had a ton of fun making it, failing at it, and then completely surprised and how awesome it turned out.

Behold: 52 Reasons I Love You (and then some):

Even though I could've purchased this awesome deck of cards:

Vintage Series 1800 Bicycle Playing Cards

I feel a gift is special when I make it; when I put my personal signature on it. If I purchased this (awesome) deck of cards, it still would've been neat, and maybe it would've been cooler looking, but I would've wondered what I could've made myself. Could I do it? Would I try a few techniques and fail and give up?

I don't have to ask myself that. I made it. I had some major fails, some errors, and I even had to purchase another set of cards to replace some ruined ones, but I did it. I had fun! AND I like the end result :)

Rule number one: never follow internet instructions regarding how to age playing cards because none of them are good and every one of them completely ruined the cards. Most of the cards got completely stripped of all color and some backs got separated from the front. I should've taken a few pictures and submitted it to Pintrosity.

Through trial and error, I found a great method, which consisted of an arduous 7-step process of aging the cards, and then a 5-step process in aging and typing and adhering the reasons. It seemed like it was going to be a fast and easy project, but I made it much more time consuming than it probably should've been!

I am so funny :)


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UPDATE: March 4, 2014

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My husband and I are adopting (!!!), and we are doing anything and everything to raise the $14(ish) grand.
In said effort, I am offering to make you a deck of cards, with the promise that every penny you give me will go directly to the adoption agency.

Note that I am not trying to *steal* Ms. McNabb's idea. I'm just doing whatever I can to get a baby in my arms!  I give full props to Lowri for her creativity. I didn't use Lowri's template which she sells on her website. Everything here I did myself, with the inspiration from the lovely Lowri McNabb. 

If you would like to take a gander at the many other styles and decks that I've done for others,
and to see about helping me out yourself by letting me make you a deck,
please visit our "Rathsack Adoption Option" blog
and/or my Etsy shop!

Sneak Peek:

So many deck colors and options, it's ridiculous.

Star Wars!!!

Book binding!

Love, puppies, kittens, and babies,
T