Keychains.

(I know, key chains is two words, but I only use one word for my post titles. Deal with it.)

I've been meaning to post about more exciting things! Being unemployed really makes you busy! 

....lol. 

No, it's my sleeping. My sleeping pattern has been off for almost a year now - since I opened Etsy and got a few sales near Valentine's Day. I worked so hard and so much that I wasn't sleeping entire nights. I was working straight through them and then working a full day at my day job. 

Come the weekend though, it was filled with sleeping. 

Really, just that. Sleeping.

My record is approximately 62 hours of sleep, accumulated from Friday night after work until Monday morning when it was time to go into work. I was always so tired that I couldn't stay awake for longer than three hours. 

To my defense, it wasn't all my Obsessive Compulsion Disorder which made me work incessantly on Etsy orders, but my brain medication (for bipolar, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and whatever else I can't remember) was all sorts of out of whack this year too. 

My brain medication is quite better now. Adam is very kind, understanding, and is helping me to get my life back on track like an everyday person. 

The struggle to have a normal life is real.

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I'm done complaining today. I'm going to share with you my latest product that's not quite up for sale on Etsy yet, but I've been making several for friends around town and trying to catch up on Etsy orders before they go up, but they shall be soon!

CUTE, CUTE key chains!

with so many different styles and backgrounds to choose from, and there are going to be even more soon!

(that's a copyright image, not a Chicago Bears logo)

I made the first (12) key chains for a friend - a sample of what they looked like is in the first picture. She took the key chains to the parents and aunts/uncles in her family to announce that she was pregnant! Howe so, so cute!?

Next up, I'm almost done with an order for one of Adam's coworkers. She ordered five and she went all-out. We added a metal charm and also a bead charm to each one! It was a lot of fun, but a lot of work, too! I made almost 30 bead charms (so that she could have a variety to choose from) and had to teach myself how to make them. FUN, FUN! I love new stuff. Love, love, love it.

Candid photos of her key chains (because I'm too excited to wait until they're *actually* done to show you!):

I should finish up my 2 coupon book orders. That'll make me feel better about being behind.

Contact me if you want a custom key chain order!

Enormous.

This turned into an unexpected, unintentional, enormous post. However, I have pretty pictures, and that makes it okay.

I should really be working right now, but I'm not. I'm here to say "TWENTY-FIVE (25) VISITORS ON MY BLOG TODAY SO FAR!" Whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut? Since when did I have anyone looking at my blog besides the 52. (52 Reason I Love You) post!? I'm an internet sensation! Ha. I'm hilarious and you know it.

I also see that I'm getting some visitors via Pinterest to my Legoman. post where I shared this awesome card I made for my brother last year:

It's a Lego!

The visits on my Legoman. post are from a pin with over 70 repins! You know what that means? It means that other people like my work. It means I have something in me somewhere that can come up with good stuff now and then. It means that I'm getting better. It means all of the fails for the past (almost) 28 years have been worth it because I have learned from my mistakes and I have grown from them. It means I'm awesome.

How exciting is that?! This used to be a nothing blog. A place where I put my thoughts down and sometimes a picture. I documented a lot about my crafting failures. NO ONE visited my blog. No one except for a dear interweb friend from Australia (I can never spell Australia), Michelle from Amusing Michelle. She's sincerely nice and personable, and very, very good at what she does.

My real joy and excitement in regards to visitors is my Etsy store. One day in June I got 250 views!!!!!211)%$@*&W$)%!!! I have screenshots to prove it! That's a lot for me! I only have a few items in my store, and they're not very common items that everyone is looking for, y'know? 

I just about died when I saw that number go up and up. As you can see, I stayed up past 1:00 A.M. the following day to see what the final number was for that day.

Not only that, but there's a Pinterest pin out there that has 500 some repins! NO JOKE.

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I think I've done enough bragging for today. I think now I'll get back to work.

Today will consist of:

• Mailing out a chalkboard coupon book (maybe I'll tell you about that drama tomorrow), which looks a little something like this on the inside:

(I'm paranoid about other people stealing my work, so I put a huge watermark
over any screenshots I take. Sorry for the annoyance.)

• Cutting white vinyl for a HUGE project, which I'll share later,

• Applying to 4 jobs as required by the State of Wisconsin for those unemployed that are receiving unemployment benefits,

• Taking pictures of 2003974 pieces of paper for a custom order to create a custom sized binder. Yes, yes. I have to take pictures of pieces of paper, edit them, upload them to a photo sharing website, then the customer gets to choose what she likes, and THEN I can make the binder. SO. MUCH. WORK. I didn't charge enough... lol...

• Continuing work on my second order of my new Vintage Pink Love Coupon Book (!!!), which will look something like this:

• Sanding a deck of teal colored cards for a 52 Reasons I Love You order, which will look similar to this: 

• Typing reasons into the computer for a reverse blue deck of cards for a 52 Reasons I Love You order, which will end up looking a little something like this:

• Doing other things that I forgot,
• Kicking Nuke (my cat) out of the Craftination Station a few dozen times. He likes my beads. and to jump in my light box. and pens. and my Silhouette Cameo. and stepping on paper. I may or may not want to strangle him sometimes.
• And hopefully I can do the dishes like I've been meaning to for two days. (DO NOT judge me. I will smite you with a curse if you do.)
• Oh, and hopefully do a load of laundry.
• And fold Adam's laundry that he refuses to put away.
• Maybe a little food in there too. 
• Probably a panic attack or three.

If you were me, what priority would you set these items at!? I DON'T KNOW, EITHER! 

/off to go turn in slow circles a few times, trying to figure out what to do first, and then sitting back down with a feeling of dread and hopelessness. Where to begin?

/sigh

Returned.

Well that whole Adoption blog was a bust. I wasn't sure what I could post and if anyone would be interested and if **I** would even be interested... so I never bothered posting anything. lawl.

Despite me deserting my blog for the better part of the year, this place has been quite active. How? Thank you, 52 Reasons I Love You (most colors, blue/teal, & Star Wars)! Dude, those things are so popular! All I did to get where I am was blog about it and link up to 52 Reasons I Love you original maker's website. And because I linked up, tons of people are clicking on my picture and coming to my blog! Not even just that, but some people are going to my Etsy store from my blog! And visitors, as we all know, equals sales (sometimes), which equals money, which equals a newly unemployed Tessa very happy!

There has been SO MUCH crafting going on 'round here. SO MUCH AWESOME with little fails mixed in. Okay, a lot of fail (wait until I talk about the dreadful purple binder). 

I want to document all of this so bad, and I thought Facebook was a decent way of doing so. But it's just not cutting it. I'm pretty sure that I can share whatever I want about my crafts and the sales on Etsy that I've gotten, as long as I don't give names. Right? Does anyone know anything about this? 

Here's to hoping I don't get sued. 

/cheers

Blog.

I created a separate blog for the Rathsack Adoption Option stuff. Mostly it has a ton of info about the 52 Reasons I Love You decks that I've been selling like crazy on Etsy. Not much else has been on there. There are like three blog posts, but I don't care. It is what it is. Rainbows, unicorns, babies, and love.

If you feel like it, help yourself!

LINKY HERE

or click on the picture below

Feelings.

Redhead Can Decorate, a mildly successful blog, and also has a Facebook page. 

Julie, the blogger, posted a picture of a "spy mirror" that she has in her house. It's a mirror on the landing of her stairs, which allows her to look down the top of the stairs and see exactly what's happening in the great area at the bottom. Feel free to click on the link to see what I mean. 

I don't agree with the total idea of a mirror. I'm not fully able to verbalize what it is that bothers me. I just think that kids aren't meant to be monitored all the live long day. NO ONE should be spied on! What a violation of privacy! 

I totally understand checking up on kids and making sure that they aren't up to no good, but they should probably be aware that you're checking up on them, no? How CREEPED OUT would I have been growing up if I saw my mother staring at me through a mirror? Around the corner? A camera? Seriously. Creeped. Out. 

I guess I am able to verbalize what bothers me about it, and now it makes me more upset!

BUT. When I first saw the picture, remember, I didn't know what it was exactly that I didn't like. All I was able to say was "Huh. That's... weird.".  I didn't think my comment was offensive, out of line, or even mildly rude. Is that rude? You tell me.

Apparently Julie the Redhead thought it was completely unacceptable, because not only did she promptly delete my comment, but she also banned me from making any comments on her entire Facebook page.

Honestly?  

True story.

I wanted to contact her to see if she really was mad at me, but I cannot send her a private message through her Facebook page. 

I was able to find her email from her blog, and I sent her a short, sweet and innocent email:

"I'm confused. I'm pretty sure I commented on your spy mirror post on your Facebook page. I went back to it to see if anyone else had commented on it, but my comment isn't there. Now it seems I can't comment at all anymore.  

In case you deleted it, I didn't think my comment was controversial. I thought my comment was perfectly objectionable but not rude.  

Did you block me? Did I not post it? Why can't I comment on anything else of yours?"

To date, she has posted several times on her Facebook, yet I have not received a response. I'm upset by this - moreso than a normal person should be, I think. I'd love to throw out a slew of curse words, a few degrading sentiments, and a plethora of angry words directed at this woman, but instead I'm just going to say one word:

Rude.

You don't like something I say? It seems the only logical response is to shun me from the entire group of fans that she has. Delete my comment, prevent me from ever commenting on any post again, don't return my email, and certainly don't explain anything. Censor my words and ban me entirely from your entire Facebook page.

Talk about a slap in the face. 

I'm sure she'd ban me from her website if she could figure out how. She'd block my emails, too. They might already be automatically directed to her trash or spam folder.

I wonder if she deletes EVERYONE'S comments that don't 100% agree or omfglovebowbow at her. Not only do I not agree with her mirror, I don't agree with they way she conducts her business or how she treats people. I can't believe people actually behave this way.

Resourcefulness.

I like to say that I'm resourceful. The truth is that I'm not.

One of the most recent things going on right now is my hatred for grocery stores. Walmart is the place that I shop. I love the idea of it, but I hate spending so much time, spending so much money, and being around such stupid people. So I've been avoiding it at all costs.

I've been slowly digging through the pantry, cupboard, fridge, and freezer, trying to find anything that looks halfway decent and not two years expired. I think it's been about four months or longer since I have done an actual shopping trip. Adam does one every other week or so, but his system is to not use a cart... just one basket, fill it up, and use whatever his hands can carry. Last time he went, just a few days ago, he got two frozen pizzas, 10 frozen pot pies, apples, juice, jam, and a bag of candy. Last time I went, it was for soda, and I also picked up a pre-made croissant turkey and cheese sammich, and some extreme clearance chocolate leftover from Valentine's day.

We're all out of anything useful, such as eggs, meat, bread.

Our fridge consists of the apples and juice Adam bought, some almond milk, butter, two half-full jars of spaghetti sauce, baking soda, and some condiments on the door.

The fridge is even more parse: chocolate chips, vegetables in bags, a few pot pies, and an ice pack.

As for the rest...

Add some flour, sugar, beans, syrup, spices & herbs... that's all, folks.

I think I have about two days left in me before I break down and go on the shopping trip.

Cost.

The cost of purchasing a child is ridiculous and it gets me all fired up. Yes, I worded it that way on purpose. You might as well say it that way, because that's essentially what you're doing.

I've done a lot of research on this topic and the best option I can find around here is LSS Adoption Services. If their website is correct, it will be $13,500.00 to adopt. In order to visually keep track, and to help others to be able to see what our goals are, I made a fundraiser thermometer.

We have a long way to go. If the cost is higher than that, which some websites estimate over $40,000 for a domestic adoption (!!!) then we are screwed... but we have to start somewhere.

We are probably going to talk to an agency directly and put in an application this week. We need to find out the specifics as it relates to money. We need to see if it will be worth our time to even put in an application. I don't want to waste our money or anyone else's money if we get any donations.

I kind of feel like I should've waited to start spreading the word about the adoption, but then again I'm really not. It really got the ball rolling for me, and especially for Adam. It really kicked his butt into gear and made him officially decide that it is something he wants to do. He is still very hopeful that we will have our own child, as am I, but after looking into the astronomical costs of fertility treatments and compared side-by-side with the success rates, I convinced him that it just isn't worth it. The success rates range anywhere from 22 - 50%. That's not very much percents, you know what I mean? IVF is a helluva lot of money to just have a 50% chance of conceiving! Some that conceive even end up miscarrying! How devastating! I can't imagine! Exclamation mark!

We shall see how far this fundraiser goes. Hopefully those that have said "we support you all the way" actually mean it, eh?

Much love, diamonds, rubies and opals,
T

Bricks.

Most of my posts seem to fall under the "challenges" category. Life is just one big challenge! 

This one has to do with a potential brick wall regarding the adoption process.

Source.

As I've mentioned before, I have mental health issues. They have been controlled, medicated, and monitored actively and continually since September of 2012. Although that may not seem like that's a long time, it really is for someone like me; for a person with bipolar disorder. Moods can fluxuate on not only a daily basis, but a minute-to-minute basis. Keeping my brain (emotions) in check for that long, with no mental breakdown, is significant. Keeping a job since 2011 is a huge accomplishment as well. Although you probably know from my rants, I do have episodes, but I consider them mild in nature as I use several "outs" to relive the stress, anxiety, or depression I feel (blogging/writing my feelings, crafting, etc.)

The roadblock we may be hitting, and which I am grateful to have thought of this before going any further, is the question "will this 'severe' disorder prevent my husband and I from adoption?" My answer: probably. Although companies always claim that they do not discriminate on the basis of gender, race, national origin, religion, age, marital status, or disability, blah, blah, blah, I do not know if these agencies fall under the same federal laws, and especially in this type of circumstance. My educated guess is a resounding "no".

I have contacted two agencies regarding this. I am hoping to get an answer as far as it relates to knowing if it's worth out time putting in an application or not. Maybe I need to talk to a specific case worker that works with adoption procedures, but I believe this is a good place to start.

I have to share one sentence that I wrote in my most recent email:

"There is a stubborn stigma surrounding the disorder, with the thought that it is untreatable and that those afflicted run rampant in the forest."

Source.

I'm so, so funny. I wish the stigma would simply melt into complete understanding, but I'm afraid that won't happen. If it does, it won't be in my lifetime. Change is too hard for this country.

We shall see.

Much love, skipping, frolicing, and dancing,
T

Also:
To answer your questions before you ask them: yes, we know about loans and grants, and there are roadblocks there that I may expand upon in a later post. We also are aware of the options of adoption internationally and foster parenting. We never intend to adopt internationally as it is not financially feasible in the least bit in our situation. We have played with the idea of foster parenting in the past, and I plan to sell Adam on that idea if all else fails with the adoption pursuit of happiness. 

Budget.

With the preparation of an adoption, we have to really start savings for the cost of an adoption.

Don't get me started about why adoptions cost so much. It really, really gets me mad, and I think sometimes about not adopting just to boycott the whole system, but I can't do that. I want a baby, even if that means I have to "pay" for one. 

Before we decided to adopt, I had been entertaining the idea and started a savings account. I hardly put any money in the account, thinking that Adam wouldn't ever allow me to do anything but give it thought and would never let me act on it. 

Now things have dramatically changed in the budget world. Adam has set up a high-interest savings account with a company called Betterment, so it will be "out of sight, out of mind", and so we cannot take money out of the account for any reason at all. 

We have been on a "fun money" budget for several months now, and it's been going really good. Every two weeks, when Adam gets paid, $100 dollars would be deposited into my account, and $100 into his account. This money would be used for ANYTHING fun related. That means going out to lunch, even if it's $2 at McDonalds, going on a date night, soda and chocolate at the grocery store, getting coffee at the gas station, clothing, and for me that means crafty stuff. Anything at Hobby Lobby comes out of the fun money account. I've cut down my spending ridiculously and tremendously since the start of this budget plan!

With this new development though, we have changed (halved) the amount of money allocated to our fun money accounts. This means a lot less Subway meals for Adam, and a lot less product from Hobby Lobby and Amazon for me. One hundred dollars a month is not very much money, if you ask me! That should allow me to just restock the essentials - glue, tape, maybe a spool of ribbon because I'm obsessed and.... probably that's it! No new stamps, no new patterned paper stacks, no beautiful fabric. 

Does anyone else have any dramatic money savings tips?

Much love, cupcakes, hearts and kittens,
T

Facebook.

I made a Facebook page for the Rathsack Adoption Option.

The Rathsack Adoption Option

Read more about our adoption effort here.

Short description from the Facebook page:

Well, this is it. We've officially lost all hope to have our own baby and are opting for an adoption. The problem is that it costs about $20,000 for one... and that's a lot of money. It may be tacky, but we are doing a fundraiser because... well, that's a LOT of money. 

We want a baby, and we're willing to do whatever necessary to have one. We are still a little unsure about this whole idea, because this is kind of embarrassing, but hopefully we'll come around once enough people support us!  

Right now I'm just setting up an Etsy shop, mostly because it's easy, something I've been wanting to do for a while, and fun for me. In the summer, anxiety permitting, some real fundraiser-type things will be happening. I don't know what yet, but it's going to be great. I just know it.  

If anyone with fundraising experience wants to offer advice, I'm all ears! If someone wants to lend a helping hand, that would be SO awesome.

Please "Like" our page to keep updated on our efforts. 

Or just "Like" our page just to show that you support us.

Much love, hope, desire and fairy dust,

T

<3